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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25798381">Rick and Steven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonstone215/pseuds/Moonstone215'>Moonstone215</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rick and Morty, Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25798381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonstone215/pseuds/Moonstone215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick Sanchez wakes up to a dimension where some ukulele playing boy rubs his spit all over his chest. Unfortunately, he can't find Morty without him.</p><p>AKA Steven tries to help Rick find Morty while the Crystal Gems are away. </p><p>Just a short story. Its whatevers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rick and Steven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Crystal Gems don't appear other than Lapis and Peridot. Im on crack. Don't take this story seriously LMAO.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"W-WHAT THE SHIT?!"</p><p>Rick Sanchez of C-137 shot up from the bed, nearly kicking the boy right in the face. The boy let out a screech and fell backwards, wincing at the words that came from the former. He was about to hold up his hands to show that he meant no harm before a laser gun was pointed to his face.</p><p>"You little <em>s- shit.</em> W-w-what's the fuck wrong with you?! Is this your kink?! Huh?! You creepy creep!"</p><p>"Huh? No sir! Please! I-"</p><p>"You got your da-damn saliva all over my chest! What do you mean no?! Im no child molester, take your sick fantasies and leave before I-!"</p><p>A glow interrupted his rant, his eyes quickly diverting to his naked chest. His chest emitted a bright pink light as it started soak in the magic saliva. He tensed for a bit, waiting for something gruesome. To his shock, no alien babies crawled out of his chest. The glow stopped just as suddenly as it came and fresh skin had replaced his gaping wound. Seeing that he was distracted, Steven walked to where he had left the strange man's coat and handed it cautiously to him.</p><p>"S-see? It healed you. I promise I won't hurt you, I would never!"</p><p>Rick quickly got out of his shock at the kid's words, rolling his eyes at him. He did put his gun away though so Steven immediately wiped his sweat away and sighed in relief. Rick had already put his coat on and took out his trusty flask from his black hole of a pocket.</p><p>"A dimension with healing chubby pink kids? Sounds like a British kid's version of FroopyLand."</p><p>He took his first gulp and burped.</p><p>"Alright y-you. Where's M-Morty? A kid half my height...<em>burp</em> wimpy, sweaty, wears a yellow shirt, has a boner probably."</p><p>"Oh! My name is Steven U-!"</p><p>"Did I ask?! Answer my damn <em>burp</em>   question you punk ass bitch."</p><p>Steven cringed at his language but he didn't dare to comment about it. He didn't want a gun in his face again and this man looked like he wouldn't listen to him anyways. He hopes the gems don't come early from their mission, Pearl would throw a huge fit. </p><p>"Ah! Im sorry! I haven't seen him! I just found you washed up at the beach with a big wound on your chest!"</p><p>"Oh great. Useless too! Listen <em>Steven</em>. You are helping me look for that little jackass. E-even if I have to blow up this entire planet!"</p><p>He got up and marched down the steps, grabbing Steven's wrist on the way down. Steven couldn't help but accept his request right away. He couldn't leave this stranger to look all by himself. His planet literally depended on it. That laser gun looked like no joke, definitely strong enough to kill him. He chuckled nervously at his close brush of getting his brains shot out.</p><p>"O-okay! Um.. what do I call you?"</p><p>"Ugh. Do you ever shut up?! It's Rick. And damn you weigh a fucking ton! What does your mom feed you?!"</p><p>"I uhh don't have a mom anymore."</p><p>Steven sadly glanced at the painting of his mother out of the corner of his eye. Rick followed his gaze before he let out an oof and dropped the subject. </p><p>"Well how big is this planet?! Have you invented portals yet or are you still stuck with wood and nails?!"</p><p>"Hm.. Oh! We have these things called warp pads! They-"</p><p>"Alright, you don't need to fucking explain. Im not a fucking idiot, they have these on other planets and it's literally explained in it's name."</p><p>Rick bitched, making his way to the big pad he just noticed. Steven followed but paused just a step away from standing on it. </p><p>"Hold up."</p><p>Steven simply said before he ran off. Rick decided to count to 5 before he went after him, not knowing if the kid was running away or if he just had to shit. Just as he reached 5, he came back with a stupid cheeseburger and a dark skinned girl that seemed to be almost Morty's height.</p><p>"What the fuck?! Were you fucking before you found me that there's suddenly a girl here?! And why the fuck do you need that, I can fit anything in my pocket you sack of shit!"</p><p>Connie blushed furiously, her eyes as wide as saucers. Steven was more confused than shocked, being an innocent kid who didn't know what fucking was. Connie also took notice of his language, actually having the balls to tell it to his face.</p><p>"Um. Please don't use that language sir! It's very foul!"</p><p>"Oh yeah. I'll totally listen to some little girl! Get on line bitch, we all have things we don't like."</p><p>Steven gasped and started to actually look a bit angry. Disrespecting Connie was where this guy crossed the line.</p><p>"Listen Rick! You don't have to be such a jerk to Connie! She's here to help! We both want to help!"</p><p>"Hey. Im not being a jerk. If anything, Im being really nice right now. Yeah that's right. I could have held you both at gunpoint and set this whole house on fire!"</p><p>He threw his arms wide in emphasize, making Steven and Connie stare at each other in horror. After he finished looking like a maniac he finally noticed their terrified expressions and sighed.</p><p>"Okay I might be a douchebag sometimes... Look, kids, you help me find my Morty and we are <em>burp</em>  good. No fires, no melted brains, and no one gets hurt. Sounds great, doesn't it?"</p><p>They slowly nodded, making him fold his arms impatiently. Noticing they were not moving, the two quickly ran to stand next to him. Steven may be a bit scared but he knows this guy has some heart deep down if he won't leave without this Morty kid. He offered him a hesitant smile, making Rick raise an eyebrow and narrow his eyes but he kept his mouth shut.</p><p>"Well where should we look first?"</p><p>Connie timidly asked, making Rick stare stupidly at her.</p><p>"I don't know. This is your planet, not mine. You think Im bringing you two along because Im lonely?! Pick somewhere to start and we'll go from there!"</p><p>Steven obliged, already having a place in mind. He didn't let Rick see his smile as the warp pad did it's job and teleported them out of there. That was the first sentence he said without a curse word. </p><p>"What the hell?!"</p><p>So much for no curse words. Connie couldn't help but chuckle as Rick stared up at the barn. She couldn't blame him, it looked like an absolute dump. While she absolutely did not like his rude behavior, they were rather quickly warming up to him. Maybe it was the assurance that he wouldn't hurt them that quickly made Connie relax and see him as an actual human being. She'd take rude over serial killer any day.</p><p>"Yeah! The truck's up there beca-"</p><p>"No! Not the damn truck! Are blue water ladies normal in this fucking planet but trucks aren't?! Are you seeing her?! That's some epic water bender shit!"</p><p>Rick looked on amazed at the gem known as a Lapis Lazuli. The Gem was bending water to her will, denying the laws of nature while also denying the laws that allow you to fly because she had wings. <em>Water fucking wings.</em> How was that possible?!</p><p>"Lapis!"</p><p>Steven called to her, the mentioned stopping what she was doing immediately to the familiar voice. She dropped the pool of water Peridot had made for her and flew over to land in front of him.</p><p>"Steven! I didn't know you were coming! I-"</p><p>"Lapis?! You are named after a fucking rock?!"</p><p>Rick rudely interrupted, taking her appearance in at a closer view. Lapis tensed under his stare but crossed her arms at his words.</p><p>"Well yeah. That is what I am. A fucking rock."</p><p>"Lapis!"</p><p>Steven gasped, holding his heart in shock. Connie choked on her spit trying not to laugh while Rick narrowed his eyes at her. He looked to be itching to whip his laser gun out of his pocket but he wisely decided to let his hand go limp. No, she can be have a lot of use to him. </p><p>"Whatever. Listen you. I lost this kid. Yellow shirt, nervous hormonal wreck. And you are going to help us find him. Use those wings for something useful."</p><p>"Steven, who is this?"</p><p>Lapis asked instead of answering him, making him seethe at her attitude. Steven knocked his anger out of him when he grabbed him by the arm and made him step more closer to her.</p><p>"This is Rick! I found him washed up at the beach with a deep wound in his chest. Me and Connie are helping him find some kid named Morty and we were hoping if you have seen him here!"</p><p>"I see. Well, me and Peridot can help you find this kid. But just know, Im doing it for you Steven. Not this old <em> twig. </em>"</p><p>Lapis uncharacteristically hissed out, making him give her the finger. </p><p>"Oh fuck off! And why are these people named after roc-"</p><p>He stopped suddenly, making Steven and Connie look at him right away. Lapis had turned to call out for her barn mate, making Rick catch sight of her gem. The tear shaped rock embedded into her back made him suddenly remember an experience he had in another parallel universe. He knew who these beings were.</p><p>"Oh my god. You guys are t-those gems! Those beings of light with th-the... Ah fucking shit!"</p><p>He grabbed Steven by the face and shook him like he would have done to Morty if he were there. Steven let out a yelp but Rick continued on anyways.</p><p>"I started a mini war S-Steven! There were HUGE ones Steven! Nearly crushed me to death! H-had to destroy that planet and kill all of them before t-they could contact their god or supreme being or whatever!"</p><p>Steven yelled in terror as he kept shaking him back and forth. Connie had to pull him out of his grasp, also looking a bit terrified at his words. Before either of them could respond, Lapis was already in front of them with a small green gem. Peridot smiled brightly at Steven, launching herself to give him a hug.</p><p>"Steven!"</p><p>He was still a bit shaken, not reciprocating her embrace. She either didn't notice or didn't care as she pulled back and stared at the new human. He stared right back to her forehead. He had seen a couple of Gems like that on the planet he was on, though it was clear they were built for technology, not for fighting. </p><p>"Rick. Can you tell me more about this Morty? If I have a very accurate description, I can input them into my small robots and they can lead the way."</p><p>That was more like it. Rick nodded, putting his hand into his pocket and taking out his wallet. He pulled out a small photograph and handed it to her, lightly blushing at Connie's and Steven's teasing.</p><p>"Aww! You have a photo of Morty?"</p><p>"That's so sweet!"</p><p>"<em>Burp</em> Knock it off. I have it for instances like this. That's all!"</p><p>Steven and Connie giggled, obviously not believing him. Lapis couldn't help the smirk she made while Peridot finally finished scanning the photograph and handed it back to him. Her drones beeped into motion, quickly zooming off into the distance.</p><p>"They are heading to... that watermelon Steven island! You guys go ahead! I was kind of in the middle of bathing pumpkin!"</p><p>She handed Lapis the tracker and scurried off, most of her words not making any sense to the supposed genius of the universe. </p><p>"Watermelon... Steven? Bathing a pumpkin? What the fuck?"</p><p>"Rick! Come on, we have to find Morty!"</p><p>Connie tugged on his sleeve, ignoring his confusion. She really wanted to see how Morty dealt with him, he looked really innocent in that photograph he had. He couldn't imagine hanging out with Rick and it seemed like they have known each other for a while. The part where characters reunite after having been separated was very satisfying for her to watch anyways.</p><p>"Haha! Yeah! There is an island full of watermelon mes! Come on!"</p><p>Rick grunted as the two of them basically dragged him to the warp pad, Lapis following close behind them. Rick snuck a glance to the short boy, his hair reminding him of Morty's. He didn't remember anything before waking up in this fat kid's bed. But it must have been some weird shit if Morty was on some island. </p><p>"MORTY!!"</p><p>Morty flinched, hearing the angry yell of his grandpa. He muttered something under his breath and adjusted his flower crown, preparing for Rick's stupid ass rant about how petty he was. </p><p>"Is that Morty? Wow, he looks... different from the photograph."</p><p>"Yeah and watermelon mes seem to like him a lot!"</p><p>"Shut it you two! Morty where the <em>fuck</em> were you you little bitch?!"</p><p>Rick roared but Steven and Connie seemed used to his behavior by now. Those two can really adapt quickly to dangerous people and situations. </p><p>"S-shut up Rick! And leave me alone! Im the new leader of t-these watermelons! Just take a look!"</p><p>He pointed to a statue they were currently building of him. More watermelons were also painting murals of him and many were even starting to apply yellow paint to copy his shirt. Rick narrowed his eyes and started to stomp up to him.</p><p>"Rick! G-get away!"</p><p>"No Morty! W-what the fuck is w-w-wrong with you?! I had to deal with that fatass marshmallow, that Ms. Goodytwoshoes, and some fucking rock to find you! Why are you being such a whiny fuck?!"</p><p>"G-get him!"</p><p>Morty screamed, pushing his bruising grip off of him. At once, watermelon Stevens dropped what they were doing and pulled out makeshift weapons. This included spears and bow and arrows. They also held wooden pistols, making Rick growl at being surrounded. </p><p>"Rick!"</p><p>Steven ran to stand in front of him. He held up his hands, pleading for the watermelons to stand down. </p><p>"How did you find out how to make guns?! Come on guys, you know me!"</p><p>"Morty, if you don't stop this right now, Im going to really let your ass have it once I take you home!"</p><p>"I introduced them to guns."</p><p>Morty answered Steven's question before he glared back at Rick. </p><p>"And f-fuck you! I should be beating y-your old ass! Do you not remember what the fuck you just did?!"</p><p>"Clearly I fucking don't M-Morty! Call off these watermelons <em>now</em>! Before I sink this whole damn island with both of us on it!"</p><p>"F-fuck you Rick! Fuck! We were running from some evil triangle after you of-offered me to it. That t-thing nearly killed us and zapped you in the chest! I-I-I had to use the portal gun and we ended up here! I can't believe you were going to give me up for some dumbass crystals! I left your ass on that beach!"</p><p>"Rick watch out!"</p><p>Connie yelled out. Rick quickly jolted his head to the right, avoiding an arrow that one of the watermelons tried to decapitate him with. </p><p>"Morty you idiot! It was obvious I wasn't going to let it have you!"</p><p>"Aww!"</p><p>Connie chirped, joining Steven's side along with Lapis. Morty lessened the tension in his hunched shoulders before they once again rose back up.</p><p>"Then why gamble me?! Huh?! I-I-Im not some p-p-possession!"</p><p>"Morty! Listen to me!"</p><p>Steven cut in when he noticed Rick's very annoyed and unsympathetic expression. Morty stared at Rick for a few more seconds before he hesitantly turned to look at Steven. He widened his eyes at his smile.</p><p>"You are not some possession! It seems like Rick makes you think that but trust me! With the little time I spent with him, I can see he has a heart somewhere!"</p><p>"W-"</p><p>"And I can see how much he cares about you! He refused to leave without you! He put up with us and everything! All for <em>you</em>! You're a good kid! I just know it!"</p><p>Connie cut in, making Morty's tension fade. Their smiles, their words.. Not many people treat him so kindly. He felt tears well in his eyes. How come these strangers treat him so much better than his whole family did? </p><p>"He also has a photo of you in his wallet!"</p><p>"You bitch!"</p><p>Lapis laughed when Rick flipped her off, being used to such treatment back on Homeworld. Steven doesn't know but gems are quite foul and do curse back home. It seemed that the crystal gems haven't made him aware of that at all. And he is very lucky the ones he had met seem to be one of the many that don't curse. Like Peridot. </p><p>"Y-you do?"</p><p>Morty whispered, rubbing his arm embarrassingly. He had never even known Rick had a wallet. And if what they all said was true... then.. </p><p>'Rick does care.'</p><p>He smiled brightly, making Steven and Connie cheer. Rick rolled his eyes, his cheeks having the faint blush it did before. Morty waved at the head watermelon, who yelled gibberish at the other melons. Their weapons were then put away and Morty handed his flower crown to the head melon.</p><p>"Here. I have to l-leave now. But I will leave you in charge! You should be praising h-him. Not me."</p><p>Morty pointed to Steven and patted the melon on the head. The melon nodded and saluted him before running off to tell the others about their new person of interest. </p><p>"Took you long enough you l-little shit. Come on."</p><p>He made a 'gimmie' motion with his hand at the boy. Morty took out the portal gun from his pocket and handed it to him. Then, out of nowhere, he wrapped his arms around the old man's waist.</p><p>"Ugh Morty-!"</p><p>"Haha! Group Hug!"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>Two forms attached to him from the back, making him nearly fall on top of Morty. Steven and Connie's hold on him was firm, making him quickly give up on removing all of them and scowl. Steven was a freakishly strong boy too. And he could have sworn he felt some type of smooth rock like surface poking into his leg from the location of Steven's stomach. Whatever.</p><p>"Come on. Let the fuck go now, we got to go!"</p><p>"Steven! Watch out!"</p><p>Lapis suddenly cried out, making Steven jump and release him. A coconut tree was falling right onto them from the amount of watermelon Stevens on top of it.</p><p>"What the <em>fuck</em>?!"</p><p>The four of them yelled at the same time. Before they were crushed under the tree, Steven activated his powers and formed a pink bubble around them.</p><p>"Woah!"</p><p>Morty gaped while Rick whistled at Steven's save. </p><p>"Nice save dumbass."</p><p>He ruffled Steven's hair just like he has always done to Morty. But Steven didn't look so happy along with Connie. They actually looked kind of horrified.</p><p>"We said a curse word!"</p><p>"My mom's going to kill me!"</p><p>Connie groaned, blaming Rick for her potty mouth. Rick rolled his eyes and shot out a portal from his gun. </p><p>"Oh quit your bitching. Just don't tell her. Come on, let's go Morty."</p><p>Rick didn't even spare them a glance as he walked through the portal. Morty waved at the two with a big smile before he followed Rick into the green vortex. It closed with a pop and left Connie and Steven to smile at their exit.</p><p>"Morty seems nice! I hope Rick stops being so rude to him though."</p><p>"Yeah. But don't worry, he has Morty again. His cold heart beats warm blood after all! Whether he admits it or not."</p><p>Connie and Steven laughed together while Lapis walked up to them. She held broken pieces of watermelon in her hands.</p><p>"Maybe we shouldn't tell the gems about this..."</p><p>"Agreed."</p><p>They said at the same time. Lapis threw the pieces away and buried them before she noticed something else.</p><p>"Erm Steven... Where's your cheeseburger?"</p><p>"My what?"</p><p> </p><p>"Rick, where did you ev-"</p><p>"Shut up Morty."</p><p>Rick hissed out as he drove the car.The cheeseburger on his back made him look a bit..... off. </p><p>Morty stared at it, secretly wanting one, before he rolled his eyes and looked out the window. He didn't even notice Rick's smile.</p>
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